![]() The main mode of sensory connection, scientists contend, is eye contact. It requires a sensory and temporal co-presence of bodies. True connection is physical and unfolds in real time it is neither abstract nor mediated. True connection is one of love’s bedrock prerequisites-and a prime reason that love is not unconditional. When you especially resonate with someone else, the two of you are quite literally on the same wavelength, biologically. It hungers for moments of oneness.įeelings of oneness surface when two or more people “sync up” and literally come to act as one, moving to the same hidden beat. Yet your body, sculpted by the forces of natural selection over millennia, was not designed for the abstractions of long-distance love, the XOXs and LOLs. You use the phone, email, texts, or Facebook, and it’s important to do so. You no doubt try to “stay connected” when physical distance keeps you and your loved ones apart. Look into their eyes-as often as possible With practice, you can learn to generate love anytime you wish, and in doing so, steer you and the one you love toward health, happiness, and your higher ground. Seeing love as positivity resonance motivates us to more often reach out for a hug, or share an inspiring or silly idea or image over breakfast. Love, this new view tells us with some urgency, is something we should re-cultivate every morning, every afternoon, and every evening. ![]() Knowing now that, from our bodies’ perspective, love is positivity resonance-nutrient-rich bursts that accrue to make Jeff, me, and the bond we share healthier-shakes us out of any complacency that tempts us to take our love for granted, as a mere attribute of our relationship. That bond I share with Jeff forges a deep and abiding sense of safety within our relationship, a safety that tills the soil for frequent moments of love. The good news is that love is a renewable resource. Our positivity resonance, after all, only lasts as long as long as we two are physically or emotionally engaged with one another. Here’s something that’s hard to admit: If I take my body’s perspective on love seriously, it means that right now-at this very moment in which I’m crafting this sentence-I do not love my husband. This back-and-forth reverberation of positive energy sustains itself-and can even grow stronger-until the momentary connection wanes-which is of course inevitable, because that’s how emotions work. ![]() My shorthand for this trio is positivity resonance. A reflected motive to invest in each other’s well-being that brings mutual care.A synchrony between your and the other person’s biochemistry and behaviors.A sharing of one or more positive emotions between you and another.I’ve concluded that love, as your body sees it, is the momentary upwelling of three tightly interwoven events: From the GGSC to your bookshelf: 30 science-backed tools for well-being. ![]()
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